www.rockisland.ru

[Upstream]

Когда-то, ещё во времена Win95, я где-то скачал бесплатную программку "Quotes". Она при запуске виндов выбрасывает афоризм, случайно выбираемый из большой базы. Часть анонимных афоризмов я больше нигде не встречал и, подозреваю, они принадлежат автору этой программы, который скромно пожелал остаться неизвестным. В какой-то момент я их начал собирать в отдельный файл. Надеюсь, они вас немного взбодрят и порадуют...

It figures. If there is Artificial Intelligence, then there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

Life may have no meaning or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be taught how NOT TO. So it is with the great programmers.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is probably parked.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.
The goal of nature is to build better mice.

Get Revenge! Live long enough to be a problem for your children!

He who hesitates is probably right.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.

There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad, it’s not a fence.

I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.

Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.

Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby.
Our problem is to find this woman and stop her.

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction - from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction, which doesn't work.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A fool must now and then be right by chance.

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Famous last words:
1. Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.
2. Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there.
3. What happens if you touch these two wires tog…
4. We won't need reservations.
5. It's always sunny there this time of the year.
6. Don't worry, it's not loaded.
7. They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.

If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.

It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.

It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

It's easy to come and go... The hard thing is to remain.

It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.

Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer,
then you find there is nothing in it.

Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.

Rules of Creative Research:
1) Never draw what you can copy.
2) Never copy what you can trace.
3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.

User, n.: A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.

When I rest, I rust.

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

While most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never does.

You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.

You never want the one you can afford.

1. Everything depends. 2. Nothing is always. 3. Everything is sometimes.

[White Rabbit]

хорошая тема..

Британские афоризмы так же хороши, как британский рок.
Вот парочка-тройка от Уинстона Черчилля, замечательная была фигура. Они мне нравятся не то чтобы глубиной мысли, а скорее каким то только для него типичным тоном, или вкусом, что ли..

Копить деньги - вещь полезная, особенно если это уже сделали ваши родители.

В молодости я взял себе за правило не пить ни капли спиртного до обеда. Теперь, когда я уже не молод, я держусь правила не пить ни капли спиртного до завтрака.

Невозможно добиться, чтобы английский суд присяжных вынес приговор за содомию. Половина присяжных не верит, что нечто подобное возможно физически, а другая половина сама занимается этим.

Небывалая толщина этого отчета защищала его от опасности быть прочитанным.

А вот нечто злободневное-
Фанатик - это человек, который не может изменить взгляды и не может переменить тему.

И напоследок-

Клуб, в котором слишком много членов, перестает быть клубом.

[Stranded]

[Upstream]

Черчиль, действительно, был крут!
Особенно потрясло, что он получил Нобелевскую по литературе за многотомную "Историю Британии"... НЕХИЛО для сильнопьющего премьера!

Из его афоризмов мне нравятся вот эти:

"В первое время у нас с женой было принято завтракать вместе. Однако, из-за угрозы развода, от этой привычки пришлось отказаться."

(Разговор в парламенте)
- Винстон, да вы пьяны!!!
- А Вы, Мэгги, уродливы! Я-то завтра буду трезв....

И ещё: ОН был прототипом Винни-Пуха. В кругу друзей (в который входил и Милн) его так и звали: Винни... (уменьшительное от Уинстон)

So-so.

[White Rabbit]

А когда-то Черчилль купил попугая. Несмотря на то, что это самка, птица получила имя Чарли. Сейчас попугай жив, ему 104 года, он до сих пор знает и периодически произносит несколько десятков английских ругательств, которые перенял от своего хозяина. Все они употребляются в адрес нацистов и Гитлера, ведь разучены они были в период второй мировой..
Вот такая связь с историей..

[Jethro]

Человек звучит гордо, но сидит тихо. /Неизв./

Эпитафия : Он старался. /Неизв./

Повторение - мачеха учения и отец глубокого сна. /Авессалом Подводный/

У меня такое мироощущение, что лучше бы его вовсе не было. /Авессалом Подводный/

Молчание - золото... если, конечно, не подлость. /Авессалом Подводный/

В силу хамского слова верят все. /Авессалом Подводный/

Человек прекрасно слышит голос разума, но он ему противен. /Авессалом Подводный/

Добрым словом и пистолетом вы можете добиться гораздо большего, чем одним только добрым словом. /Аль Капоне/
_________________
I want it all and I want it now!

[ELPy]

[Jethro]

Я тоже так думаю!
_________________
I want it all and I want it now!

[Upstream]

For in much wisdom is much grief:
and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
Ecclesiastes

Mark this well, you proud men of action! You are, after all, nothing but unconscious instruments of the men of thought.
Heine

A book is a mirror: if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.
G.C. Lichtenberg

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman - as bad as she dares.
Elbert Hubbard

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
M. Twain

Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
Alexander Pope

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes,
which can be made, in a narrow field.
Niels Bohr

An instinctive respect for the printed word makes it difficult for most people to appreciate that it is occasionally completely false.
B.E. Noltings

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -
- Did you ever try buying then without money?
Ogden Nash

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.
Henry B. Adams

Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
Ogden Nash

Every person who has mastered a profession is a skeptic concerning it.
George Bernard Shaw

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Director of the US Patent Office 1899

[Upstream]

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H.L. Mencken

Foreign Aid - taxing poor people in rich countries
for the benefit of rich people in poor countries.
Bernard Rosenberg

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
H.H. Williams

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Elbert Hubbard

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly
as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Half the work that is done in the world is to make things appear what they are not.
E. R. Beadle

He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.
Abraham Lincoln

His mind is like a steel trap full of mice.
Foghorn Leghorn

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
Winston Churchill

I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
George Bernard Shaw

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
Franklin P. Adams

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work.
Gallagher

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
Maslow

It is a pity that nowadays most people are so anxiously bent on being practical, to get ahead in life, that they no longer find time to make sure where they really want to go.
Hans Selye

It's easier to be original and foolish than original and wise.
Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
Billings

Life was not meant to be easy.
Malcom Fraser

Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
Michelangelo

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing, they marry later;
for another thing they die earlier.
H.L. Mencken

My father, a good man, told me, 'Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it.’
Erich Maria Remarque

Nature didn't make us perfect so she did the next best thing.
She made us blind to our faults.
Grit

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying
as an income tax refund.
F. J. Raymond

On a paper submitted by a physicist colleague:
“This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.”
Wolfgang Pauli

The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever.
France

The biggest things are always the easiest to do because there is no competition.
William Van Horne

[Upstream]

Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia:
If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.

Rudin's Law:
If there is a wrong way to do something, most people will do it every time.

Shaw's Principle:
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis:
If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented, it wasn't worth doing.

First Law of Bicycling:
No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

Emersons' Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.

Boling's postulate:
If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

Brooke's Law:
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something, which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Bucy's Law:
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

Cahn's Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Oliver's Law:
Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.

Paul's Law:
In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

Zeal is fit for wise men but is mostly found in fools.
(Усердие необходимо только мудрым, но встречается оно, в основном, у дураков.)
Proverb

[Mazzy]

Порхать, как бабочка, жалить, как пчела. (Кассиус Клей)
Единственный афоризм, который я твёрдо помню!
_________________
Я всегда говорю правду,даже когда вру

[Upstream]

[Bass&buzz]

Consuetudo altera natura.
Omnia mea mecum porto.
In vino veritas.
Periculum in mora.
Aquila non captat muscas.
Si vis pacem, para belum.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti.
_________________
tonight, yes, tonight!

[rael]

No atajo sin trabajo